July 4, 2011

So no go on the walking again today.  Today my daughter turned 13, so we spent the day doing things for and with her.  She got her ears pierced, which is a tradition in our house, and rode her new (to her) Vespa.  We hung out at the mall and ate junk of course.  Later, Jason and I went for a ride on our bikes over near Town Center and watched the fireworks.  We ended up "meeting" some of our neighbors and really having a good time.  But the truth is.....I didn't walk like I said I would.  So, I will try again tomorrow and see if I can keep from failing again.

July 3, 2011

There are so many changes that I'd like to see in the next year.  Mostly within and without myself.  I hate to mention going on a diet or starting a workout program again because I can't seem to stick with anything.  It makes me feel like such a failure.  I have no idea what I weigh, because I just can't stand to get on a scale.  I know it is around 240 pounds.  I wear a size 20/22 pants and my shirts have to be at least an XL or larger.  I hate that I can't find clothes that fit at "regular" stores.  My sex life is in the toilet.  My bloodpressure is high every time it is checked.  But yet, I still keep sneaking food, drinking tons of Coke, and moving as little as possible.  What a train wreck.  I'm going to start walking for 30 minutes each morning, but I don't think I'm going to mention it to any one.  I think I just need to start out slow and not try to rush things.  I mean, I've gained that last 40-60 pounds in 3 years, so it's not like I gained it over night ~ so I'm probably not going to lose it all in the first month.  I'm not mentioning it to my husband, though, because I know that in his eyes it's like ~ yeah, right, again.  Not going to spend any money on anything right now, either.  I have everything I need....a treadmill, tennis shoes, workout videos.....lol, with all that I have I should be in fantastic shape running circles around everyone.  I'm just tired of being the fatest person in a room.  The most out of shape person.  I could give a shit less what I weigh, if I could buy normal clothes and be able to walk around without getting winded.

So, this is the plan:

• walk 30 minutes every day.....not worried about speed or distance, just moving for 30 minutes each day.
• try to eat less.....add in a couple of salads each week
• vent on here.....since I can't talk about this with my husband until I've made some progress and have made things a habit, I have to talk to someone.....so here it goes.

Since I'm not going to worry about the number on the scale, I guess I'll have to go by how my clothes are fitting....that's probably a better gauge anyway.

Anyway, wish me luck!!

March 22, 2011

One year from today, I hope that my feet don't hurt after walking around the zoo for two hours.  I guess to meet that goal, I better walk a little more each day.